My first pole dance competition

My first pole dance competition that was more than just a competition. It was an emotional trip for me. I want to share my feelings, my thoughts and my experience with you.

It all actually started in 2012 when I applied for my first competition. I really went all in for my application. I thought that if I practice pole dance and my routine five times a week, two hours each time, it would be great, because that is what athletes do! So I went to my studio early in the mornings, late in the evenings and during the weekends to practice and make my application video. I wanted to do so many tricks! I had a wish to do so many hard tricks that I haven't done before, but thought that if I train enough I will make it.

But what happened? Did I make it? Not at all! As my body wasn't used to intense training, and I had only been doing pole dance for a year, my body was not ready for hours of training everyday. Besides, I had a full time job so overall my body did not really get to rest. The consequences? I broke. My arms collapsed, so terribly that I couldn't even get dressed without screaming and crying because of pain. I had so much pain I couldn't work or pole for three month. Nothing was really broken here. I just overtrained.

So I forced myself to take a break and rest. I was saddened and frustrated as I felt my body didn't want to cooperate with me. I thought that all athletes could train as much as they wanted. But in reality, that is not true. I had to find out how much MY body could take. Nobody is the same. I learned that I had to listed to my body and I could only train as much as my body allowed me to. I learned how fragile a body could be and I had to take care of it if I ever wanted to compete.

Four months later, I came back to work and pole dancing again. I had to be careful and listen to my body during classes and I never went to the studio more than three times a week. I felt then my body became stronger if I allowed it to rest.

In 2013, I had really bad luck and fell down from the pole during a double-trick at three-meter above the floor. We had a crash mat that saved our heads, arms and legs, but I landed with my foot outside the mat and broke my toe! I had to do one operation and use crutches for eight weeks.

After rehab, I was more motivated than ever to compete. I felt I had learned how to not overtrain and alway use crash mat. Safety first you know!

I made two applications for the Swedish Nationals 2014 - one for Women category and one for Doubles. And I got into both categories!

This time I trained smarter than back in 2012. I worked with my choreography twice a week, tricks and combos once a week and stretching twice a week. I also combined my pole sessions with stretching so I had at least one or two days to rest between my trainings. That made me stronger during my practices.

The closer the competition came, the more nervous and scared I got. My fear was not about falling or making mistakes on stage, but it was the audience. I knew many people who came to see the competition and had big expectations on me since I was an instructor and liked to post a lot of flips and acrobatics on my Instagram. So I knew people were expecting to see this on stage. I was afraid I couldn't reach their expectations! I knew a lot of my students would be there to watch me and also my family and some of my friends. Yes, I actually have friends that are not pole dancers, believe it or not. I never told anyone to buy tickets or to come and watch me, but they did and that made me so nervous. I had so much anxiety prior to my performance that it made me nauseous! I remember thinking about drop out from the competition but I couldn't let my double-partner down! I remember that I sometimes wished to get hit by a bus on my way to the studio so I didn't have to compete.

During the competition day I was so nervous. My rehearsal was so bad. I had no grip. I did my spiny spinning in the wrong direction and felt I couldn't see anything because of the spotlights on stage. I wanted to go home and hide in my bed instead.

When it finally was my turn, I almost felt exhausted because of my nervousness. My energy was almost gone. So I went up on the stage and thinking "Okay, whatever, let's do this". Then I heard my friends, my students and family screamed my name! They cheered for me! That gave me so much energy. I felt like I was flying on the stage. My Iron-X wasn't even heavy. I felt like I could hang there forever. I also did some acrobatics on stage, and a 3,5 meter drop from Ayesha to inverted crucifix that made the audience scream even more. This was my best and worst experience ever.

When I was done I felt like a winner. I did it! I had just competed in my first competition ever, and it all went well! I was so happy.

During the prize ceremony I didn't have any expectations, I was so satisfied I survived this experience with all emotions and challenges. But it all ended with a bronze medal in both Doubles and Women categories. I was so happy and suddenly all the pressure released so I started crying on stage during the prize ceremony. And I couldn't stop. I cried so much. And then I cried a bit more every day the following weeks. And sometimes I get the feeling I want to cry if I watch my performance again today. There were so many emotions and feelings around this competition and this prize felt so much more than just a bronze. My body wasn't broke. I hadn't overtrained. I did my first competition and I enjoyed it! I've learned and grown so much during this time. I've learned how it feels to be on the bottom and how to get back up again. I've learned how important it is to listed to my body and how important rest days are.

I will be coming to the future Swedish Nationals, but only to watch, cheer at the competitors and maybe I'll cry some happy tears.

About Sandra

Sandra is an instructor at STHLMPole. Here is a link to her performance from my first competition: https://youtu.be/qAOnWExnkYE

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Sandra